Overcoming Division: The Hard Work of Dialogue within the Church

I assume the best of my motivations. 

I assume the worst of others’ motivations. 

I imagine others are worse than I am. 

I imagine I am better than I am. 

I elevate self. I lower the other. 

Why is this? Sin. Selfishness. I’m a wretch. 

Psychologists call this motivational attribution asymmetry. I was recently re-familiarized of the term while reading Chad Lakies new book, published by CPH, How the Light Shines Through: Resilient Witness in Dark Times. I highly recommend it. 

Motivational attribution asymmetry “reduces what it means to be a person down to the ideas, opinions, or positions” the “other” holds. We feel “unable to interact with others because we consider our differences too significant, as if those differences can be overcome only in a zero-sum game” (Lakies, How the Light Shines Through, 88).

In concluding this section of the book, Lakies states, “This space of disagreement does not warrant disassociation from the other. Rather, it warrants the long, hard work of discussion” (Lakies, How the Light Shines Through, 89).

Here is the big question for the LCMS: Are we willing to put in the long, hard work of discussion with those we’ve labeled as “the other”? 

Here is what I know about those who are not in dialogue with those of us who are running tests in leadership development: You are not my enemy. You want what I want—more workers for the harvest. You want what I want—the Gospel to fuel the found to reach the lost. You want what I want—families to be healthier and grounded in the Word of God. You want what I want—the LCMS to be a growing, thriving, united expression of the Church…today and in the future. 

We simply have differences of opinion on how this is going to happen. This does not make “the other” the villainous enemy. It makes us brothers and sisters in Christ who are struggling to find our way through the darkness of these days. 

As a parish pastor I have a sinful tendency to silence and separate myself from those who disagree on the “how” of ministry. It’s uncomfortable. I’d rather my “how” wins. I’m a selfish sinner. The Holy Spirit has led me toward another strategy. I pray He does the same for you.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). 

Thanks, Holy Spirit. Thanks, Paul. 

I’ve been praying for dialogue with brothers and sisters who disagree with me. I truly want to learn. I want to hear other ideas on how the LCMS can become healthier, more hopeful, more united, more confessional, more missional. 

Lakies reminds us, “But that’s only possible  when everyone comes to the table with an assumption that we can all agree is a good one: only together can we come up with the best possible plans for achieving good outcomes for all, rather than working singularly and without input from others” (Lakies, How the Light Shines Through). 

My frustration with the LCMS is simple. I don’t think “input from others” who make up the entirety of the LCMS is being considered. I believe we’re too tribal. We have blind spots that could be mitigated by the “others” insight in every “camp” of the LCMS. 

Holy Spirit, please unite us as we collectively confess. We all suffer from motivational attribution asymmetry. Praise Jesus for the forgiveness of sins, life, and salvation that flow from the cross and empty tomb of Jesus. 

uniteleadership.org

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